I have made a promise to my husband. The next 6 months will not consist of training walks or runs towards a Difference of 26.2 miles. Last year was the London Marathon. (An event I celebrated with my beautiful bambi, who represents my constant ankle issues)
And for two years before that it was the London Moonwalk
To not have a plan ahead is a little daunting. To not be pushing myself in some way for a big event is actually quite scary.
But then my week started like this
Which quickly became this
And today, after a week non weight bearing, and then a seven hour shift it is like this
So maybe it really is time to give my bambi ankles a rest!
It is not the end of the world. I have been wanting to surf for years. Not training at weekends means maybe the odd trip to Bude is possible.
And on Monday I start a 60 day course with Kerry Eddie. A mind and body programme to turn around the negative thinking and make good changes. Maybe I don’t actually need big goals to work towards. Maybe I can scale things down, and still find satisfaction.
This week has been tough. It has felt like a week of failure and I have felt very emotional. But then looking back I can accept I have achieved much. And that will keep me going. For a while at least. I am now off the duloxetine. And this week is a year anniversary of the start of recognition of a horrid depressive episode that was sucking me under, and however crap this week has been, it has not been quite that bad. Yes I have cried. Yes I have felt a failure. But I haven’t stayed with those feelings. And that in itself is something to celebrate.
So 2016. What is ahead. It is a little bit exciting because for once I really have no idea!