This blog started out with my experience with Intuitive Eating. Attempting to find out what makes me tick, why I have disordered eating. But then things happened, and in revelation after revelation I’ve realised that my eating is always always always going to be disordered until I get to the root of the problem. And sometimes the roots of our problems are so well hidden, it takes years and years to discover them. They’ve been covered in layers, by other problems, which we unearth, think we’ve found our answer, but then discover another layer.
I do feel alot more at peace with my body at the moment. All the money spent of the years has countad for naught. I’m back to the size I was last summer, I’m eating for comfort, out of boredom, and occasionally in frustration. BUT, I feel more confident in the person I am. I am more content to spend time with and by myself, not too much, mind! I can currently look in the mirror and realise that my body shouldn’t hold me back. I will find people who value me regardless, and I can have the confidence to do what I want. I don’t need to listen to judegements and hollow concerns “But I’m worried for your health!”. Let’s face it, skinny people aren’t necessarily any healthier. It’s not about size. It is about so much more. Body, mind and soul. Healthy mind, healthy soul, healthy body. I’m getting there. My soul is healing, my mind is clearing, and my body will follow suit in the time I need. There is no need to set a time scale. I have the rest of my life to work it out.
Blimey, my blog is a see saw! Actually, it’s not even a see saw, it’s a really disorganised map of my year!