Old habits dying hard, but it’s a learning curve

Published February 12, 2012 by Crystal

What a difference a week makes.  My children dropped like flies, one after another. They recovered equally quickly, and it’s back to normal this weekend.  But a week of disturbed sleep, feeling below par, and not getting to my zumba classes, left me grumpy and eating and drinking out of boredom and stress.

Goes to show me how beneficial exercise is.  It doesn’t have to be much, but just a little movement makes all the difference to my state of mind.  And not doing anything can send me into a downward spiral of self pity, low self esteem, and all round grumpiness!
I over drank, I over ate, and I have ended up feeling miserable because of it, not to mention physically uncomfortable.  But today I have most definitely drawn a line under it.  There’s always an excuse to eat or drink if we look for it.  And if I had a brain I would stop myself in that self pitying moment.  If I was being kind to myself I would ask myself  “Is that food going to help me feel happier?  Is that wine going to bring my mood up?” And of course, once I’ve drunk a glass of wine, I’m really not up for reasoning with myself.  But as time goes on, and I drink less, and eat a better quality of food, I notice these down times more acutely.  It’s as if there was a point that I felt physically and mentally rubbish 24/7, because of what I ate, drank and did.  But now, I have made so many changes, that when I slip back in to old habits, one, other, or all, I feel it all far too smartly.  I feel anxious, lethargic, bloated, moody *insert various feelings here*.  I feel defeated, unworthy, “what’s the point?”.  I feel I’ve let myself down.  It’s all part of the spiral of self despair!
Now I’m back to logic.  I haven’t let myself down, I just temporarily fell back onto habits that have supported me throughout my life.  Even though it is now obvious to me that these coping mechanisms don’t benefit me, it is inevitable that occasionally, as I change my lifestyle, when something challenges me, be it tiredness or stress or illness, I will fall back to the habits that have supported me for so long.  And that is no bad thing, because as I said, I realise now that those habits don’t serve the purpose that they did, and it is worth being reminded of this!
So today, I can look back as the last week as yet another learning curve.  I can reflect on how certain foods and drink have left me feeling, and how lack of activity leaves me feeling flat.
Don’t ever let yourself feel less that you are.  You are more special and worthy and precious than you give yourself credit for.

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