So last week I was miserable. I couldn’t get the thought of weight loss out of my head. I feel unhealthy, uncomfortable, and had gotten to a point where clothes that were comfortable were no longer wearable. Something snapped. Eating intuitively, tuning in to hunger and physical needs doesn’t come easily to me at all at the moment.
So I came to the decision that I wanted a plan of some sort, to monitor myself. To help me do what I seem unable to do by myself at the moment. And it smarts in a way because I do hate diets, I rant and rave and write endless blogs about my previous diet experiences. How can I expect this time to be any different?
I’m not sure. And I wouldn’t want to tell any of you reading this to follow me down this path.
I have made some plans and promises to myself to avoid falling into the whole diet mentality. I don’t buy the diet magazines. I don’t weigh in between weigh days. I pay attention to how I’m feeling, emotionally and physically. I refuse to buy diet food crap. And, so far, things are going well. A big key has been cooking from scratch, using The Hairy Dieters first book. We’ve had some family successes and I find it a really nice feeling to be cooking something that the whole family shares in. Previously I would be cooking one thing for the menfolk, and something ucky for me. This time I am taking time to prepare foods full of flavour and interest. I have spent hours cooking this week, and realised that actually, when I put the effort in, it gives me satisfaction. I am normally so very hungry by the time it comes to eating our evening meal that the enjoyment seems heightened. So far we’ve tried Spanish style chicken bake, Cod in parma ham, and skinny beef lasagne. I’ve increased my vegetable intake again, after, for some mad reason, deciding to cut back on veg. I feel better physically for that. I am putting effort in to move in some way several times a week, and feel happily tired at the end of the day, and sleep better. My wine consumption is less, and I’m not thinking; It’s been a crap day, where’s the wine? I am still occasionally thinking the; It’s been a crap day! part. I just don’t have the wine to knock back in angry defiance.
At the moment it’s going ok. I’m being made aware of my hunger signals far more than prior to this new product, and I’m not seeing the hunger as something to create panic, which seemed to be the case in previous times. It was my son’s birthday this week and we celebrated with a meal out and wine. I enjoyed it, perhaps a little bit more because I’ve made the commitment to limit my wine intake for health reasons.
Now it may all go wrong. I might get obsessed and into the crazy diet zone. I may crash and burn and throw in the towel and out my toys. Or I may have found a way of “Being My Own Guru” and find a balance between Beyond Chocolate and a diet plan.
But I didn’t want to fall silent and feel I was misleading you. I stand by the wonder of Intuitive Eating, and would like to be a natural eater one day.