Well, for me, for now, Pro Points are helping me. I feel good and I feel positive. I don’t feel deprived, and I feel in control of what I’m eating and the choices I am making.
Truth be told I am on Cloud 9, because for the first time in many years I feel like I know that my body is capable of losing weight, and I am making choices based not only on what I fancy, but on what will make my body feel good!
Last night I got the 5% award, and that’s nice, it shows progress. I’ve lost 12.5 lbs so far. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing with weight coming off each week. One week I maintained, and another week I gained. But this time, rather than feeling downhearted because the scales didn’t show weight loss, I accepted that my body doesn’t work in a simply linear way. And most importantly the scales DOES NOT DICTATE my self worth. I am not suddenly a failure if I haven’t lost weight. I am not a lesser person for enjoying a few extra indulgent meals in a week. It simply means that there is no miracle weight loss trick. It takes a lot of effort and thought to lose weight. It takes mind, body and soul. It means deciding whether what I want will leave me feeling good physically and mentally, whether I am happy to live with the consequences of those choices. And sometimes, an indulgent afternoon with a friend, that results in 3 bottles of wine and an evening takeaway, is more important than eating more physically nourishing foods and avoiding the alcohol!
But for more, using Pro Points is a help in focusing. It enables me to make those choices of whether I could get the same satisfaction from a meal more mindfully put together. Let me give you an example. Last week, I made my kids macaroni cheese. The good old traditional meal, from scratch. Plenty of butter, plenty of cheese, mounds of pasta. And it smelt good. It smelt nostalgic. I love home made macaroni cheese. But I also know that it is one of those foods I find hard to stop at “satisfied”. I would eat bowls and bowls and bowls of the stuff. I love it.
I worked out that a bowl would be about 18 points. Not unreasonable for a meal. But I wouldn’t be satisfied at one bowl, I’d want two. 36 points. That’s more than my daily quota, and I would be happy, until the carb slump arrived, and that bloated feeling left me feeling tired and uncomfortable.
So I had a thought, and decided some soft cheese mixed into some pasta and veg would give the cheesy creamy flavour that I craved, but without the heaviness. I had some mushrooms and leeks, some pasta, and some philly. It was lovely! I felt satisfied, and happy that I hadn’t eaten several bowls of the macaroni cheese.
Prior to Beyond Chocolate I would probably be approaching this all with the mind of deprivation. My last experience of Weight Watchers was deprivation and self loathing. Believing the scales dictated my successes or failures, not just at weight loss, but at life. I would want macaroni cheese and wouldn’t feel satisfied until I scratched the itch! But now, weighing up the qualities of food I choose, and deciding on their merit to me physically and mentally, I feel happy.
I have decided to abstain from alcohol for another week. I love my wine. But not drinking it is leaving me feeling mentally clear, and capable of lots of walking, which makes me feel great! But there is nothing else I am stopping myself from eating. I’m just weighing up how I will feel after.
And I am happy that clothes that were too small are now fitting. I am happy that physically I feel lighter when I walk. I am happy that I feel I am working with my body and no longer against it.
So that’s where I’m at. For now.