It’s a hard place to be when those critical voices in your head are loud, and commenting on all you do. It makes it hard to be gentle and kind to ourselves. The harsh judgements are easier to hear than the kind loving words we want and need to say to ourselves. In trying mindfulness I am able to let the kindness come in a little bit more, and to allow the angry hurt feelings pass. To apologise to myself for my inner voices passing the many judgements.
And i guess we all deal with this to some degree or other, depression or not, eating disorder or not. The desire to change those parts of ourself we despise. And then the external cues might lead us to feel silently judged or criticised by our friends and peers, imagining scenarios that haven’t even taken place, leading to more inner judgement.
But something I read today reminded me to start with myself. To be compassionate and loving, and to use mindfulness to dissipate the negative. Always a work in progress but always trying.