I was just thinking about how I must spark and irritate or even anger some people. It’s not intentional. I don’t wake in the morning and make my plan of the day to insight anger. I am who I am. And that’s ok. But unfortunately, some of my traits are going to trigger a negative response in another person, and maybe I will remind them of another, or my attitude to a situation might spark a memory, and in turn a negative reaction. And I guess it can be hard to work out when it is that we are projecting different people and situations onto someone totally unrelated, or whether that person just ticks us off, and rubs us up the wrong way!
I feel it would be unrealistic to expect us all to live in harmony, but knowing that my perspective of others can be skewed by my past experiences can help bring a calm to me when worry and paranoia sneak in because of how another has treated me. I’m not an innocent. I’ve done some stupid, ignorant, hurtful things, for a multitude of reasons. But I would like to think I’ve learnt from my mistakes. I will make many more, no doubt, but I learn. I believe communication is a big key to dispelling misunderstanding, I believe honesty about my thoughts and feelings and projections can help bring some clarity to a situation. To ask questions of myself when I am reacting to someone in a negative way. But just like it is not that person’s problem when I am projecting onto them, and it would be unfair of me to lay emotions on them that are from earlier memories, it works the other way too. I don’t have to accept those projections placed on me. It is not for me to have to justify every little action so as to bring another person peace. Though in knowing how easy it is to do I guess it brings me some peace in being able to not take it more personally. Of course, I will piss some people off just by my very existence, and I guess I am just better off out of their lives altogether! 😉
Apologies for the slightly rambling stream of thought, I think I need coffee!