The last few paragraphs of “It’s Not About Food” are powerful.
“We have witnessed women standing in front of a mirror and for the first time in their lives being able to feel and express love for themselves, and then the next week turn around and say, “I’m completely stuck. I’m not losing weight.” We have seen women grow and change in beautiful ways but completely invalidate their growth because they haven’t lost weight. Complete recovery from an eating disorder requires spiritual and emotional growth. Sometimes weight loss accompanies this growth, sometimes weight gain accompanies it, and sometimes no physical change accompanies it. The complete healing process is not linear. It can fluctuate and it is different for everyone. We will talk more about this later. But for now it’s important just to understand that when we measure our progress only in weight loss or gain we set ourselves up for failure. There are three reasons for this: 1) We are not placing value on our spiritual and emotional recovery, which means we are not hearing the message of our eating disorder; (2) we have removed ourselves from being present with the internal process that is necessary for recovery; and (3) when we aren’t gaining or losing weight at a regular rate, we think we’ve failed and we turn back to overeating or undereating.”
I have learnt to become mostly impartial to those numbers on the scale. But then it begs the question, why do I weigh each day? The following paragraphs ask the reader to question themselves on their behaviour around the scales. But the part that struck a chord so strongly was this;
“Where did you learn to measure yourself in pounds only? Is this the true measurement of your personality, your intellect, your body, and your soul?”
I thought I was ok weighing regularly. I thought I was allowing healing through that impartiality, but really, those scales are still holding a power. If the number increases, I must try harder. If the number drops, maybe I let myself lose a little. It’s time to take that next brave bold leap into healing. Into really tuning in and trusting myself, and allowing my body to work with and not against my spirit.
“Trust that your present weight is the perfect weight for where you are right now in your life.”
Wow. How freeing. How forgiving. How accepting.
I’m ready to step off the scales.
Extracts from It’s Not About Food