A year ago I wouldn’t have been saying, oh well, I only managed 6 miles. So I am claiming that as a mini victory and evidence of the progress I have made in terms of health and fitness.
Unfortunately my old pal IBS has flared up today, and to put it rather delicately, I found running was causing me to feel a need to be close to a toilet with every mile! I was actually running with the location of the next available rest stop in mind, and as the miles went on things became less comfortable and more painful. At 5.3 miles I decided to call it a day, and arranged to meet my beloved to get a lift home. I ran walked the last mile to meet up, and was grateful to be on my way home.
It’s interesting after the morning I have had and the feelings I have had on diets/eatingplans/antidiets this morning.
To me this situation reinforced my decisions to follow the slimmables plan. I may never do it 100%, but the food I have eaten has nourished and supported me as I have continued to train. IBS symptoms were non existent, and a headache only happened when I didn’t drink enough before a run. Today I am suffering IBS and the visual disturbances that come before a migraine. It could be entirely coincidental, or it could be that I am far more aware these days of how foods do affect me physically.
I will always be thankful to the intuitive eating movement, and that includes beyond chocolate. But as with every thing I have to take what works for me, and leave the rest.
I’ll admit I felt I was being dug out this morning when I read tweets on my time line. Because I know it is me who has mentioned slimmables several times over the last fortnight. And yes, it is a diet, and yes, there will no doubt be those who throw themselves in 100%, and 6 months on are onto something else because the honeymoon period has passed. I am not that person. I am the one who stumbles and tries to find my way from day one, and probably looks like a failure in the eyes of many weight loss experts. I did WW and lost some weight, I then did SW and lost some more, all the while picking the bits that helped me. I’m now on Slimmables and taking what helps me now. I’m not a conformist, and I doubt I will ever be in some magazine with a Wowzer life changing story.
But I’m still 3 stone lighter than 18 months ago, and I can run walk 6 miles in less than 80 minutes. Last year I couldn’t run for more than 30 seconds at a time, so progress is happening.
I will probably always feel a little bit unsupported, and a little bit misunderstood, because depression likes to play that game, often. I will probably always be a little bit paranoid and a little bit anxious. But I will always be honest about where I am in my journey and in the moment. I don’t expect anyone to follow my path, it’s messy and chaotic. But just because I want to run a marathon and lose some weight to make that easier, doesn’t make me a sell out to the Size Acceptance movement. Because I’m not expecting anyone else to join me in my journey, and because I want every single person in this world to feel comfortable and happy and accepted in their skin and their choices. Don’t dig me out because my choices aren’t in line with yours. Maybe instead, ask what it is that I am getting out of a choice at this point in time. And cheer on the positives! Like raising money for a charity that is relevant to everyone in this country, and like noticing the little improvements in health and fitness that enable me to feel better mentally.
Anyway, so 6 miles today, but Thursday is looking free, so I shall aim for 12 then, and I still have my runs with my buddy on Monday and Friday. I’m not giving up just yet! Oh, and I managed to collect lots and avoid the zombies in that 6 miles! 😉