What is more dangerous than fat shaming?

Published March 9, 2015 by Crystal

Today I read possibly one of the most vile and shallow  pieces of advice regarding weight loss that I have ever encountered. 
In living with a partner who is threatened or anxious about your weight loss, and who may be consciously or unconsciously sabotaging your weight loss goals, the advice is to ditch, divorce and then dance at your divorce party!

There were also suggestions earlier in the week from a similar source to dump your fat friends and people who drain your motivation.

If it wasn’t so tragic it would be laughable.

Your weight loss is all about you, but why not ruin a few relationships as you go?  Because nothing says success like a former fatty celebrating their new thin life with fewer friends and family!

This same source bangs on about personal responsibility. But all I am seeing is success being gained through blaming those around them for former life choices! Personal responsibility surely means accepting you are responsible for what you eat, drink, think, and whether you choose to exercise or not both now and in your past and future? Yes situations affect our choices, but they are still OUR choices.

Personal changes can be threatening to those close to us.  There is no denying that.  But if weight loss is more important than figuring out and discovering what is threatening those close to us then what is your life really about?  If weight loss is more important than working through relationship issues then are you really worth any more than how you look?  Or maybe weight loss is still being seen as the cure all when the issues run deeper?  If you don’t address those problems they will still be there when you are thin.  You just laid all the blame in the wrong place.

I find it beyond sad that someone could put weight loss above the relationships that make our lives beautiful. 

But then it isn’t surprising in this superficial image driven world.

Fortunately I am not buying into that shallow advice.  I’m listening to my slimpod and am feeling empowered and supported in the positive choices I make.  There is an understanding that change can be slow, and it isn’t all about weight loss.  It is about my life as a whole.

Think carefully about the messages you choose to follow.  If you want to dump fat friends you might find yourself very lonely.  Remember who has been around you and supported you in your choices to this point in time.  Your choices.  Not theirs. 

And enjoy that skinny mojito over there at your divorce (following weightloss that you couldn’t be bothered to discuss and work through with your ex) party, with your new group of friends, equally skinny and equally superficial.  We fatties may well be partying and dancing and laughing as we make our choices surrounded by friends who love us regardless of our shapes and sizes, and regardless of the pounds on or off.

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