Today’s exercise is complete. It wasn’t running in the end. For several reasons. One. I felt particularly self conscious on putting my running gear on today. My tummy, while no difference in size to 6 weeks ago, felt big. My tights felt revealing, and I felt conspicuous to every passer by. So naturally, I donned my bright yellow rain coat, which covers my bum. It also has helpful pockets for things like wallet and phone, which I needed as my exercise involved walking to Tesco 2.5 miles away to get my prescription (apparently Duloxetine is something they need to order in, albeit super fast, they just don’t stock it. Now I know for next time). Anyway, I started out, and I felt a bit meh about it anyway, but also particularly self conscious, so I tried a little running, but decided that walking would be fine.
2 miles in and the blister started. 3 miles in and there was the feeling when the blister has popped. Home and I have a lovely large empty blister. I was miffed as yet again my twin skin socks had let me down. Whilst the likes of lidl trainer socks never have. I won’t bore you with the photo. I already did that on twitter. At least now I have my Duloxetine, and I have 5 miles under my belt.
3 days of exercise, it’s a roll!
Food wise I am loosely following Joel Fuhrman’s GBOMBS plan. I like the idea of all the nutrient dense foods, and am feeling pretty good. The smell of the KFC I passed did absolutely nothing for me, and my craving for lunch was avocado on rye bread (which I have just had).
What I am really fancying though, is a nice glass (bottle) of wine. So I had a think to myself What would Geneen ask me re the wine? How am I feeling? Am I anxious or agitated? Is there something I am trying to avoid? And I’m thinking Well I am starting a new supply job on Friday, and it’s my first shift, but it’s cleaning, and it’s only 2 hours. Logically there isn’t really any reason to be anxious. And when it comes down to it, I think the reason I want wine is because I told myself I can’t have it!
What is it about us humans that want the one thing we’ve told ourselves we shouldn’t? There’s a rebellious streak in me that really does not want to grow up. I want to smoke, drink, and spend long lazy days at the pub as I did in my teens, which is nearly 20 bloody years ago! So it’s that, that feeling of sensibility and responsibility that I seem to be fighting against today and I want wine to prove that I’m not yet a fully responsible 30 something, and that I can still play and have fun. I don’t know where I am going with this awareness, but I guess awareness is the first step towards something positive!